Update on Six Month Promise!!

Relationships....that's why I started this whole no dating for six months thing. Isn't it?? Well I thought I knew the answer.
My dating life was...well...at the point sucking when I made this decision back in August. I was in a weird spot with one guy....missing another....and not having any clue what I wanted out of my life. So God gently leads me to giving Him six months to get closer to Him. To see HIS will for this season in my life. To heal my broken and shattered heart. Yes this was going to be a great season in my life indeed!! :)
So now I am two months and one day into this. I have had moments of up and moments of sheer despair. I know this seems like a dramatic post but please just stay with me....
God has cleared up parts of my life...like my calling..I was seeking it sooooo desperately not realizing that God had already revealed it to me and I was ashamed of it. So i am only going to say this once...cause I'm really quite tired of repeating if you want me to be honest.... I feel that my calling in life...my job to do.......... is to be a stay at home wife and mom...raise my family...be my husbands helpmeet and the things that go with it. Now I know in todays society this "job" might be frowned upon or not considered important. I don't know why this desire has been put into my heart but it has and has been there for a long time I've just been denying it.
So problem one was taken care of. Onto the whole dating scenario...I'm not dating anyone despite popular belief. I do however believe that God's has revealed my life partner to me. I have been praying about this as has the guy that God has placed in my life. This guy is being very respectful and letting me fulfill my promise to God. For this I am very thankful! Not many guys would be this suportive or wait so patiently. My parents are also praying with us and I am seeking their counsel and support...Any questions about this particular situation can be directed to me personally...lol!! This is a subject I am most eager to talk about!! ;)
My broken heart is being mended one day at a time. Some of the things I have had to get over have been very heartbreaking and lonely. Some things that I have had to deal with have shown me just how foolish and naive I really was. I let people walk over my heart and rob me of things that I regret giving them. I'm not saying that I too am not to blame for these things I am just stating a fact. Realizing these things have made me feel stupid and I have had alot of apologizing to do to my parents. I see now that things I once felt were life and death are really not worth my time.
There is so much more that I have learned but it would take me a novel to write it all down...lol!!
Yes this has been a trying season in my life but it's worth it all every step of the way!! :)

Santa Believes Do You??

So this week I've been on vacation in Pigeon Forge.Today we went to a store that sells a ton of Christmas decorations. We were walking through the isles and hallways of Santa Clauses and snowmen..... we reached a display with a santa claus figure bowing, hat in hand before a baby Jesus laying in a manger. I cant describe how beautiful this little figure was. Chill bumps literally erupted on my arm. I know that sounds stupid but it was beautiful. And it got me to thinking.. santa clause believes do we? Santa...an icon... a celebrity of sorts. Little kids..worship him...look up to him. How do we let our little ones know that while santa is sweet but not the true reason for the season. The true reason for the season was wrapped up in that blanket...laying in that manager. That beautiful perfect baby boy. A baby that held so much in a future that most people knew nothing about. He came to save us from our sin that we ourselves could not get out of. This week i have had people tell me im too Jesus freak for them...to radical...well thats okay by me. If my life makes sense to an unbeliever than im not living my life like i should. Think about it...... So im gonna leave you with this question...Santa believes....do you??

Waiting For My Breakthrough!!

Soooo.... I could lie and say today has been a fantastic day. I could lie and say that my life is going exactly like I want it to. I could lie and say that I haven't cried today....but that is what they would be...lies. I promise that not every time I blog it will be said but today was not a good day. I spent most of the day at Princeton hospital in Birmingham with my mom and her family while my grandfather had an arteiorgram done. They though they were gonna do surgery today so that's why me and the fam were up there. They decided to not do the surgery today so we just sat there all day basically for nothing. Church tonight was good although some people in our class seemed to have some anger towards God and I really felt quite helpless sitting there....I didn't have any answers to give to their questions. Tonight was lonely. I am about four days into my dating God thing and to tell you the truth....I knew this wouldn't be easy but I guess i figured in doing this for God,He would at least.....well yeah I guess I figured He would make certain aspects of my life easier....today I have felt more alone and abandoned then ever.... I have felt stupid and naive. The world has openly mocked me for what I'm doing and I certainly don't see the humor.... i really dont have alot to say about today....if youre reading this;keep me in your prayers. Im not gonna back down and let satan win.... thats what he wants and he is NOT going to get victory in me. Just pray that i listen for Gods still small voice and i learn to lean not on my own understanding but in all my ways acknowledge Him!!! love and peace!

This Point In My Life.....

As of sunday August 23 2009 I gave over the next six months totally and completely to God. More specifically the dating aspect of my life. Yes you read that right...I, Beth Willis gave six months of my teenage years over too....SINGLENESS!!!!!! For those of you who don't know me all that well let me clarify.... I have not been single for any extended length of time since i was 14. The thought of being alone petrifies me! Why am i doing this you ask?? Well I'd being lying if I said I havent asked myself that same question. Part of me would like to say that I'm giving this to God to make something magnificant out of me and yes that would be part of the reason. But i think the most prominent reason is because all I have left of my heart is broken shards and tiny pieces. I made a horrible mess out of the beautiful heart that God entrusted me with and i've came back to my Father pieces in hand asking Him to glue it back together again. When I was a little girl any time anything was broken i would take it too my dad...he could fix it. No matter if i was the one who had broken it...my daddy could fix it. I had faith that he loved me..even though he might fuss about the mesa i had caused or the value of the thing i had broken when he saw the tears in my eyes and knew i had done everything else i could to fix it he would take the pieces from me and glue them back together again. My daddy would fix it. I liken God to my dad. Everytime i mess up. Even when im the one who got me into this mess i know i can come crawling back up to Him...with the pieces of my heart in hand and i know He can fix it. Just like when i would have to admit to my dad though that i had been the one to break the item..i would look down to see little cuts on my hands. It wasnt totally painless for me. I know that in bringing God the shards of my heart it will hurt but i know if i put my faith in Him and His plan...then He can make my heart like new once again....happy in the peace of knowing...My Daddy fixed it! And what He fixes,stays fixed!!! :)